Unbeknownst to me, he arrived at the wrong school that morning and knew it when they pulled up to the front of Brownsville Elementary School in Bremerton, WA. He let Glenda, the bus driver; know he was supposed to be at a different location. She radioed for permission to take him to his proper elementary school in Silverdale, which is the one he intended to reach that day.
This is the fourth and final installment of Spanking and Science, if you missed the others or would like the hyperlinks for studies, please look back to parts 1, 2, and 3. (continue reading →)
Reviewing the anti-spanking literature revealed no randomized clinical trials exist proving spanking is ineffective or harmful. Many challenges were identified when drawing conclusions from Dr. Gershoff’s review study. Spanking is defined loosely, making the definition subjective. The research tends to be correlational; therefore, cannot support causation for spanking being beneficial or detrimental.
Ultimately, the developmental outcome of child-rearing is primarily determined by the overall quality of a parent-child relationship. Non abusive spanking by loving parents who use correct methods were able to achieve effective behavioral management and a rapid re-establishment of affection between parent and child following interventions.
The bottom-line is this: The question as to whether or not spanking is beneficial or detrimental has not definitively been answered by science. The one thing expert psychologists on both sides of the debate agree upon is the data is not conclusive.
“My eyes are burning, oh my eyes. Mommy, help me.” My daughter was upset and screaming in pain. I went tearing out of my room and ran into the bathroom. “Ow, my eyes are stinging.” It was hard to decipher exactly what she was saying besides having pain in her eyes. “What happened?” I asked, thinking to myself, how did you damage yourself unattended in less than 60 seconds? “It sprayed me.”
“If you get bit by a dog, then you will get rabies.” – 4 year old daughter “You mostly get rabies from bats.” – 7 year old son “Dogs get shots to protect them from rabies.” – 5 year old son “OK, phew.” – 4 year old daughter very relieved “Umm, how about we try to avoid getting bit by dogs?”–Mom preferring prevention strategy
As for my journey, my best advice is to draw your own ‘lines in the sand’ as a parent. No one single discipline method is perfect for every child. Reasons for misbehavior vary. Do not judge other mothers; it is harder than it looks. We are all “doing the best we can.”
Throughout our careers, we are privileged to share in the overwhelming joy of others, yet bear witness to much human suffering that leaves scars on our souls. I wish these parents knew how deeply their son touched us all in the NICU that day. Rainbows are not just a collection of colors as we look out upon the horizon; they are promises for our hearts.
Afterward, the surgeon wondered how she determined there was an infection in his neck. She said she thought it was a case of ‘pink eye’, but her doctor refused to call in an antibiotic without examining him first. He commented that decision had saved her son’s life.
